


A Painful Conversation

by kadethegeek



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28024038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadethegeek/pseuds/kadethegeek
Summary: After Allana Solo loses her hand, Jacen appears before her and tries to give her advise to avoid repeating his mistakes.
Relationships: Allana Solo & Jacen Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	A Painful Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> This is a salvaged scene from a scrapped project involving madsinwonderland, abbyeverafter, and starspidercosplay. 
> 
> Allana lost her hand in a duel to a lady known as Marra Les.

Allana Solo was alone now that visiting hours were over for the day. She felt lonely. There was an odd beep from machines and the voices of medical droids. Leia had offered for Threepio to stay with her, but Allana refused. She couldn’t handle Threepio’s constant chatter that night. She had her datapad to keep her busy, but she kept most of her attention on her arm. She was slightly embarrassed at how mesmerized she was by it. She didn’t notice her surroundings, and she certainly didn’t notice as the ghost of her father appear before her. She jumped when she felt his presence.  
“Hey dad,” Allana said quietly.  
“Hello yourself,” Jacen said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help you.”  
He decided to try to lighten the mood, “I always said you looked just like your mother, but this,” he gestured towards the stump that was her wrist, is a bit much.” It was the wrong thing to say.  
“It’s your own fault that you’re not here with me! Stop finding other excuses,” Allana exploded, “You went off and got yourself killed and now nobody will talk about you, no matter how hard I push. It’s your fault.” She hissed.  
Jacen was visibly hurt, and his image grew slightly dimmer. “You’re right,” he mumbled, “and I’m not surprised they don’t talk about it. They didn’t talk about Anakin, either. You have the right to know the story, but it’s not a happy one. Are you up for it?”  
Allana was rendered speechless. She needed to know. After fifteen years, this was her opportunity to learn why her father was never around and then died. All she could do was nod. Her father’s ghost acknowledged her, sighed, and then spoke.  
“It started when I found a sith while on a mission to destroy an illegal Correllian missile station. I was very concerned with galactic security at the time,” Jacen regretfully and reluctantly reminisced, “Lumiya taught me the ways of the Sith. Blinded by a need to protect you and the Galaxy, I killed people. I took control of the government. I tortured your cousin Ben, and even I killed his mother, Mara Jade. I almost gave in fully to the dark side, but I used my love for you, Tenel Ka, and the Galaxy to keep it in check. Nevertheless, I became a tyrant. When a nanokiller was released, I was going to stop it and save you and your mother. Then my sister arrived. She was willing to die to kill me. Luckily, I warned your mother about the nanokiller in time. I fought Jaina. I spared my sister because the galaxy needed her. She killed me.”  
Allana felt all the color drain from her face. Jaina killed her father? That was impossible. How could she kill her twin brother? “I don’t believe you.” She said at last. “It’s not possible.”  
“Believe me, I wish you were right, but why would I lie to you?” Jacen questioned, his face full of remorse.  
“How could you not tell me this? You just sat back and let me hate on you for years. I blamed you for everything. I’m sorry.” Allana could feel big salty tears roll down her cheeks.  
“I didn’t want this to be your inheritance, I didn’t want to go through the pain of telling you, and I convinced myself it was their story to tell,” Jacen explained, “Jaina did what needed to be done, and your hatred was justified.”  
“I know that you were a Sith, but why did she have to kill you?” Allana asked in a small voice.  
“Many children think their parents are tyrants, but it would have been too true in your case,” Jacen joked, “if Jaina hadn’t killed me, I would still be a dictator. Or someone would have killed me in a worse way,” He paused, trying to think of the right thing to say, “and believe me, nobody wanted that.”  
“But she didn’t have to kill you. She could had arrested you or-”  
“-She wasn’t going to take me alive; I was that bad. I also wasn’t going to let her.”  
“You couldn’t have been that much of a threat. That’s not how I remember you. You’re my dad, and you wouldn’t hurt a daywing.”  
“I wasn’t myself,” Jacen stated, “I called myself Darth Caedus, but I don’t know who I was then.”  
“What does that even mean?” Allana was genuinely confused. Her dad was Jacen Solo; how could he be anyone else?  
“If this helps explain, an old … I-don’t-know-what-she-was taught me during the Yuuzhan Vong War. If you could call it teaching,” Jacen shuddered at the recollection of a bad memory. He continued, “She called her little game ‘Who is Jacen Solo?’ Anytime I asked for help, Vergere would always tell me that everything she said was a lie and that I would find no truth in her. She was right, of course. I had to learn for myself.”  
“I guess that means I have no idea what type of person my father was then.” Allana said quietly. “I don’t even know what turned you to the darkside. I don’t even know what happened that made you this way.”  
“Vergere taught me to serve the Unifying Force, not the dark or the light. But then Tenel Ka had you, and I swore to protect you both-” Jacen choked up, “and then I saw that vision of you on the throne of balance with a dark figure, and I didn’t know what else to do, and then -”  
Allana interrupted him with tears in her eyes. “It’s my fault?” she asked in between tears.  
“No. Frag, no. None of this is your fault,” Jacen hurriedly consoled her, “my actions were mine and mine alone. That’s who I was”  
“But you just said-”  
“The road to the seven Sith hells are paved with well-intentioned people like me, as the old Corellian saying goes.” Jacen lectured, “The moral of this story is to trust your family and do what you need to do, but follow the proper channels.”  
And with that, all that remained of Jacen Solo faded away. Allana Solo was alone again, and now she had even more complicated feelings to deal with.


End file.
